We can employ strategies like journaling, creating art, meditating ,using positive affirmations, yoga, practicing gratitude and so forth that can help us to improve our mood and find genuine happiness.īy accepting the full range of human emotions, we can also more effectively support others in ways that will enhance our relationships, bringing us closer to others (which also makes us happier). Doing this, of course, only serves to create new problems for us.īy first acknowledging our challenging feelings (and those of others), we can then use productive ways to make ourselves feel better. Not allowing ourselves to acknowledge our negative emotions does not mean they will disappear- instead we will often use unhealthy ways to try and suppress them through such things as alcohol, food, and other types of addictions that distract us from what we’re really feeling. Feelings can be compared to waves, they can come in and grow stronger, but eventually they begin to recede. We realize that even if we acknowledged it, we cried, or screamed into a pillow, the feeling didn’t kill us. When we do this, it helps to diminish the impact of the feeling. We accept that right at this moment we ARE feeling sad, anxious, etc. Part of this process is identifying what we are feeling and allowing ourselves to sit with it for a while. When we practice mindfulness, we take note of what we’re feeling without criticizing or judging ourselves. Therefore, healthy optimism means looking for and practicing ways of managing challenging emotions, not pretending they aren’t there. Sometimes we insist on them being happy saying, “don’t cry”, when maybe they need to, or “it’s ok”, when maybe in that moment it isn’t.ĭifficult emotions are a necessary part of life- after all, you wouldn’t recognize joy if you’d never experienced pain. It’s difficult to see our children sad or hurting in any way. This tendency is often strongest when dealing with our children. For example, we often say “stay strong” to a friend going through a difficult time, as though if that person were to show how sad or angry they were, this would somehow be weak. It can also be tempting to not want to see these feelings in others. When bombarded with upsetting experiences and feelings, it can be tempting to deny them. Toxic positivity is the tendency to minimize very real negative experiences and emotions in ourselves and others, to insist that everything is ok and we “should” try to be happy no matter what.ĭifficult emotions can be difficult to acknowledge or to confront.
When this happens, optimism crosses the line to what’s known as “toxic positivity”. At times these messages can feel inspirational, but other times when we are feeling sad, anxious, angry or depressed, these words can feel invalidating. However, this does not mean that we can or should always feel happy.ĭuring what is now approaching two years of a global pandemic, political and social upheaval, and very real and personal tragedies, everywhere we look, we are being told pat phrases like “Look on the bright side”, “find the silver lining”, or “this too shall pass”. If we can become skilled in these coping skills, we can actually rewire our brains toward happiness. So, toxic positivity can be seen where people often talk and behave as everything should be in their control, and being unable to control it is their fault, this is why people often try to mask their emotions.There is no doubt that practicing positivity through such things as mindfulness, positive affirmations, seeking gratitude and the like, can have a very powerful, positive effect on both our mental and physical health. This modern world may hate to admit that not everything is in our control. When you make a person feel like their emotions are invalid or ask them to ignore the current situation, it may happen that they may suppress their emotions or start having guilt and shame for feeling this way. Toxic positivity can become very toxic when one tries to suppress or silence one’s emotions. It is the process that results in minimizing, denial, or invalidation of human emotions.
Toxic positivity is defined as the ineffective and excessive overgeneralization of an optimistic state across all situations. The overuse of it can make one suffer a lot and can even increase the pain or stress one is trying to deal with. Toxic positivity not only encourages us to deny dark emotions or ignore the surroundings but is also harmful.
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